Trip down amnesia lane.

I have heard 'em all my life. The "size-specific" greeting. You know the ones..."Hey there BIG GUY." "Big Boss Man," "BIG Roy." I know I am not supposed to take offense, but stop it...really. I think I may start responding with counter nicknames like "Lil' Muffin" or "Captain Lame." I don't want to have to do that...but I will.

Ok, lets take a look back. March of 2004...we are newlyweds and we are going to go to Mexico for our honeymoon. Always the type that wants to experience something "real," we opted to skip Cancun and go to a lesser known resort some 15 miles away. We kept passing one beautiful resort after another. All of them had front gates that looked like set design for Falcon Crest (You babies out there..Google it.) When we arrived at OUR "resort," I noticed that in lieu of a front gate, ours had a yellow nylon rope. Undoubtedly, purchased at the Wal-Mart and few yards up the road....damn. The Honeymoon goes along well for a couple of days...snorkeling and even riding the dolphins. (Fun, except my dolphins bailed out on me because I was too heavy...feels bad when the animal kingdom vibes you because of your weight). About 3 days in, I had a fever and what turned out to be...wait for it....MONTEZUMA'S REVENGE. In the hospital back in the states, I was terribly dehydrated and needed to stay for a couple of days...which leads me to the moment that started this whole weight loss and health trip.

I was laying in bed visiting with my mom and dad...we had a nice visit and I was starting to feel better. After they left, the nurse wanted to weigh me. This of course scared the hell out of me because I had not weighed in so long...but here it was...time to weigh. That moment...the moment of knowing my weight, began a journey that finds me here with you. I weighed 394 lbs. after 2 weeks of severe dehydration from being sick. I probably weighed over 400 lbs. My brother was there...I cried. I said I don't want to be here. He said, "you are young and can do something about it...it's not too late." I have always been afraid that it is too late...especially with this subject.

I weighed this morning again after quite some time. I weigh 319 lbs. When I first saw that number I was disappointed, but then I thought of all the hard work I have put in for 6 months...and how finally I have a chance with my food...(now that eating out is off the table).

So there ya go. It's scary to share these details...because they have always been used against me. But I am branching out and living in the daylight rather than the shadow of the self. Connecting with others, being active, eating well, and using my talents. All of these things are new to me. I feel like at least I get a life now...at 37. Half a life is a lot better than no life at all.

Once again, thank you for all you kind words of support. You mean more to me than you realize...really.

Food plan for tomorrow: Breakfast (the usual), Lunch: roast, Dinner: homemade (thank you, Kiki) veggie beef soup. Zumba with Sara at 6 a.m.

Roy