Joining The Human Race

Good afternoon dear readers! I have had a great day thus far...5:30 a.m. spin class with Jan. She pretty much rocks my face. I came home and slept some. I practiced, wrote music, and had leftover Chicken Mole...which BTW was a HUMONGO SUCESS. It was spicy but not too much and it tasted soooo good!!! I was very happy (it could have been a bloody disaster). Lots of work but it kept me safe from eating out. For those of you who want to try it, here is the recipe:

Chicken Mole

Ingredients:

3 small dried pasilla chilies, toasted, seeded, deveined and rinse

3 small dried mulato chilies, toasted, seeded, deveined and rinsed

1-1/2 cups boiling water

1/4 cup sesame seeds

3 whole cloves

1 piece cinnamon stick (about 1 inch)

1/4 teaspoon whole coriander seeds

1/8 teaspoon anise seeds

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1/4 cup whole unblanched almonds

1/4 cup raisins

6 whole chicken legs, thighs attached (about 3 pounds)

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup coarsely chopped white onion

2 cloves garlic

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1-1/2 ounces Mexican chocolate, coarsely chopped

1 cup chicken broth

Tomato wedges and cilantro sprigs for garnish

Preparation:

1. Place pasilla and mulato chilies in medium bowl; cover with boiling water. Let stand 1 hour.

2. Toast sesame seeds in dry, heavy skillet over medium heat 2 minutes or until golden, stirring frequently. Remove from skillet. Combine cloves, cinnamon stick, coriander seeds and anise seeds in skillet; toast over medium heat 20 to 30 seconds until they start to change color and become fragrant, stirring frequently. Remove from skillet.

3.Heat oil in 12-inch skillet over medium heat until hot. Add almonds. Cook and stir 2 to 3 minutes until brown. Remove with slotted spoon; drain on paper towels. Add raisins. Cook and stir 30 seconds or until puffed. Remove with slotted spoon.

4.Sprinkle chicken with salt. Cook in same skillet over medium heat 10 minutes or until browned, turning once. Remove to plate. Remove all but 2 tablespoons oil from skillet.

5.Place raisins in blender; process until finely ground. Coarsely chop almonds; add to blender. Process until finely ground. Add onion and garlic to blender; process until finely ground.

6.Process 2 tablespoons sesame seeds with on/off pulses in electric spice grinder to fine powder. Add to blender. Process clove mixture in grinder to fine powder; add to blender.

7.Add chilies, 1/3 cup of the soaking water and the tomato paste to blender; process until smooth. If mixture is too thick, add just enough of the remaining soaking water, 1 teaspoon at a time, until blender blade can spin. Discard remaining soaking water.

8.Reheat oil in skillet over medium heat until hot. Reduce heat to medium-low. Add chili mixture. Cook and stir 5 minutes. Add chocolate; cook and stir 2 minutes or until melted. Gradually stir in broth. Cook and stir 5 minutes.

9.Return chicken to skillet. Reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer 45 minutes or until chicken is tender and juices run clear, turning chicken occasionally. Sprinkle remaining sesame seeds over chicken just before serving. Garnish, if desired. Serve with Green Rice Pilaf.

There ya go!

This morning I did a spin class (as I mentioned) and then watched a bit of a sports training class. Nikole teaches it at the Y. It looked like it was MAJORLY hard. I want to do it, but I am afraid that I would just plain not be able to do it. I never want to draw attention to myself regarding my size or fitness level and I can just see me sitting there while everyone else goes right through it. It is amazing how being overweight my whole life has made me want to be invisible and yet long to be seen. When I put it like that, I can see clearly how controlling it is. It is almost like someone outside of myself wants me to keep from really living a life. As it turns out, people (whom I have feared) offer hope and strength. I call my process... joining the human race. Stop trying to be special, covering a feeling of being inadequate. Stop being mad at everyone, sheltered behind humor. Living openly with the realization that I am no different than anyone else. My body, my mind, my spirit...all of it responds like other people. From the new tricep muscles in my arms, to the feeling of well-being in my brain...all the way to the feeling of belonging in my consciousness. ALL of it is like any one of you.

BLAH BLAH so, I may go do the 5:30 p.m. class in 2 hours. Just to face the fear of it. Nikole reached out to me on Facebook and I appreciate it. Let's just see what happens shall we? I will let you know.

wish i hadn't had those corndogs.
just kidding.

Roy