First of all, my plan for tomorrow is as follows: Breakfast (the usual) two eggs, two pieces of veggie sausage, a piece of toast, a jalapeno, and quart of water. Lunch...sandwich, slice of aged cheddar, baked Cheetos and hummus. Dinner...roast! OK that's out of the way.
I had a good day today. I had a good breakfast and took my lunch to a recording session. Now the hard part of that lunch was that there was catered food from a local deli and I could have had it for free. And so, the mental chatter picked up..."Well...you're not paying for it." "You are eating it in the studio...so you aren't out." On and on this went, generating high anxiety...until I decided that I brought my lunch to feel safe...to know that I am doing no harm. I sat and ate my lean roast while the smell of french fries and Reuben sang their sweet song to me. "Roy...dear Roy...come and eat us please...no one will know...Roy...dear sweet Roy...you didn't pay a dime and your food blows.." I ignored it. Bottom line: no one cares for you...like you. Restaurants are a business and calorically dense food keeps us coming back for more. It works. Why would they change it? I think of these things and I start to get a little heated about giving this industry control over my life.
I also struggled today with feeling lonely. I was around other people all day long but still I felt alone. You ever feel that way? Almost like... unloved? I tell you this not for your pity, but to be transparent. Well, I felt this way today...with no real reason, other than food (specifically, fatty, restaurant-prepared food) isn't my friend anymore. We are breaking up. Breaking up is hard to do.
On a happier note...here are some things I notice about my body as it responds to a change in nutrition and exercise.
The very top of my chest feels totally different than it ever has. Much more muscularity.
My arms look as though I have borrowed someone else's.
I can do push-ups...(you might as well have asked me to LEVITATE before).
My legs have transformed completely.
I have been very active for about 6 months. It has made me a different man.
If you read this...drop me a line. It's nice to know that I am not alone.
Thank you.
Roy
15 comments:
Roy,
You're not alone. I can relate to some of the same 'feelings' as I am 'breaking up' with cigarettes. I'm proud of you ... us!
Moford
Hey, sweetpea, More and more of us are choosing to eat our own homemade food in gatherings where the alternative is unhealthy. You just watch. People will start coming that direction. I started back a year ago and everybody in my office was ordering out pizzas and crap. It has taken a while but I've finally got people who are taking notice and joining me in the healthier and happier way of eating. And we all know it's about more than just food.
Susan McBride
I second Moford...Roy, you are not alone! I greatly admire what you and Kristie are doing. I struggle with eating food for most every reason except being hungry. I've used it a lot in ways other than enjoying it and when I stop doing that, it is hard because you do have to deal with whatever comes up in a different way. I'm lucky that I've been very active most of my life. I think it's probably saved my life. Rock on Roy. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to share. And to face all this!
Not alone!! Thinking about these things a lot and found this motivating. So, thank you for making us feel less "alone."
Definitely not alone. That little "devil" on your shoulder always tells you that you're the only weirdo doing whatever it is you're doing - that you should just give in. It is so hard not to let that negativity have power over you. I hope you and Kristie are feeling some pride in what you're doing and that you'll use that feeling as a source of strength.
totally understand. i feel that a lot, for a lot of different reasons... and it all stinks. but it's also not True, for me or for you. =)
thanks for stopping by, roy, and thanks for sharing yourself here.
Way to go Roy! Very proud of you. I am trying to at least cut way back on eating out, but the hard part is cooking for two small picky children. Trying to resist the temptation of buying mcdonalds on the way home when we are running late is hard, but I've bought my crockpot and cook pot and am going to try at least two new recipes a week.
Love,
Kerry
Your idea about breaking up with restaurant food is a great way to put it. It does get easier.
I used to love to eat out during the work day, but for at least a year I have taken a balanced, nutritious lunch to work almost every day, and my meals usually get a lot of comments from my coworkers. Most other people are nuking frozen meals or eating sandwiches. It was hard at first not eating out -- like I was missing some fun -- but it feels good to take care of myself with a good meal.
Hang in there. Taking your lunch and dinner to work will seem routine after a while. You might even get into collecting various containers to carry the food and keep the cold and/or hot.
Bravo Roy! Passing up free studio food is nearly impossible, but there are many unhealthy studio folks for that reason. I will do what I can to join you in your quest. We should plan to lunch-in together at work and make it a party!
Keep up the good work! I'm already looking forward to seeing you at spin class on Thursday!
Reading along too. Hang in there!
Mark P
So not alone, Roy! I struggle with eating for reasons other than hunger, and I totally relate to feeling alone and unloved when I do not turn to food. The only advice I can give is that it gets easier the more you do it.
Thanks for sharing yourself with us, and great job!
wow...I love this blog Roy!! I feel like I am right there with you!!! I have started off this year determined to finally take off the weight from my last pregnancy and I am glad I have you as inspiration!
Celeste
You and Kristie Rock! Hugs, Melissa
What you've set out to do is a mission of inspiration. What you'll learn about food and your relationship with food is powerful.
it's YOUR turn to be the inspiration.
Remember, you're not simply changing one life, but instead... because you're sharing it with the world, you're changing many lives.
It's a powerful mission
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