GET UP

I suppose with any endeavour continuous refocusing is required. I tend to think in absolutes. If you do X --it will always lead to Y. That could go for anything from playing music to losing weight. "If I do long tones, I will be a great player" "If I run a mile a day, I will lose weight" Neither are true by themselves..they are a piece of the puzzle...but not the whole picture. Fact is, it takes more than just exercise to lose weight. It takes a commitment to healthy food AND exercise. It also takes an examination of self. Really looking at what controls us and makes us want to hide from ourselves. I have experienced a set-back. I have gained a little weight back. I am not surprised since my bender a few nights ago with a bottle (or 3) of wine. Plus, I went on the road and ate too much. So here I am having to pick up where I left off. I went to Zumba and Sports Conditioning for the past couple of days and am starting to feel reconnected to my routine again. I also am watching my calories closely and I'm starting to feel my body responding again.
Today, I go to the doctor with my Dad. I will find out more and when I do, you will know more too. It is my understanding that we doing a marrow biopsy today. So, here we go..maybe nothing is wrong. If there is, I guess we are up for a fight. We will see. Fear will not rule me. "Take the next step" is my current motto.
In other news, I am SO FREAKING SORE. I have done 2 days of morning plus evening workouts and I feel like my body has just given out. I push so hard to get through. I have to get angry sometimes to make it. If you see a look of rampage on my face, don't worry...it's not you..it's me.
So I feel like I am doing pretty well, although the perfectionist in me doesn't like anything but forward momentum. But, sometimes, it isn't about throwing punches so much as it is TAKING a punch. It is about getting up again. Over and over. Accepting the setback. Get up. Gain some weight? Get up. Someone hurt you? Get up. Lose your job? Get up. Feel like you can't do it? Get up. Feel like you will fail? Get up...get up get...up. When we take the punch, get up, accept a setback, or otherwise fly in the face of fear we walk in faith that we can handle what comes. Make NO MISTAKE here...all of the above mentioned things hurt. A lot. And some of the greatest leaders in history have felt the same terrible feelings associated with failure and tragedy BUT they felt those feelings while they tried again. I will keep trying in ALL areas of my life. One thing I have learned is---I can take pain.

Thank you for everything.

You are appreciated very much,

Roy