Goofy photo:"Too Close For Missles
Switching To Guns"
From: Top Gun (Got this shirt from 80stees.com) haha
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I have been trying to lose the same 3 to 6 pounds for a while now. I am doing everything "right" and still I gain..or stay the same. Up and down I go so close to a major milestone for me. I want to get beyond this impossible wall so so much. Yesterday I burned close to 4,000 calories in exercise alone. Today around 1000. I am also eating healthfully. I did the "low carb thing" for a while...(less than 30 carbs a day) but cannot see why eating vegetables or a limited number (2 servings a day) of whole grains would be bad. SO I changed that. PLUS I couldn't shit! Something is horribly wrong when an entire body system just goes DOWN! For the love of all that is holy THAT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. In the wild, if it got to that point ya know what happened? YOU DIED. That's right....DIED. What was life expectancy for cave men anyway...like a month?? oh well... So I started eating vegetables again...(how dare I) All kidding aside, I do feel very discouraged...or do I?
Sometimes, I like to look at a word I have heard all of my life. I mean REALLY look at it. Let's take DISCOURAGE. DIS-COURAGE...Dis means "lack of", and courage well means bravery or will. So, when I feel discouraged, I don't feel defeated. I feel angry. I am talking angry inside...when I talk to others I know the appropriate social expressions for discouragement...mopy face..downturn eyes..sad voice. But this is incongruent with what I actually feel. I feel rage. I feel controlled and held down. Instead of giving up, I turn that rage hungry machine on myself. I don't want to be inactive..I want to hurt...me. This is true in every area of life. I hate it about myself. In my head is a voice that says "you are meant to be here..no matter what." "Fuck it...I quit..lets go get something to eat." It isn't complacent resignation. Instead, it is a direct attack. I know that if that is active in my system...I haven't lost courage...it is just pointing the wrong way. I am pointing the gun THE WRONG WAY! Make no mistake, I am feeling pretty bad about my gain, but I cannot afford for my addict to run the show. It has to be me. It has to be my way. I have been working so hard and lots of people have noticed that I look different but still I hover and hover. "They are being nice" "THEY know you haven't REALLY lost weight" AAAHHHHH!!! I plan on continuing my exercise regimen but I will need to change it up. I am going to start using weights again and maybe adding swimming into the mix as well. My food? Lean and homemade, 1 lb of veggies...2 gallons of water. If shooting for a 5,000-8,000 burn a day and eating clean DOESN'T get me there I don't know what the hell I will do. I am going to trust I suppose.
Thank you for reading!
Roy
2 comments:
I'm sure you've heard this before, but I would start looking at inches lost instead of pounds, especially since you are gunning it in Nikole's class. You are developing muscles that probably hadn't been called on in awhile. They are going to get heavier and stronger, and they are going to use some of your fat to do so. I was thinking today in class how great you are looking! You are a completely different shape than you were in January, and that's good!
As far as diet is concerned, I'm all for eating vegetables. As many as you can get your hands on. Nobody ever got fat from eating carrots. Promise. I shoot for half of every plate I eat (no matter how many plates) to be vegetables, quarter good protein, quarter complex carbs. If you do that, you'll be fueling your body with energy and nutrients it can use. Careful though, it will clean your system out in a hurry. Station yourself strategically to prep for that.
You can also go for the paleolithic diet (I think I spelled that right). Google it if you're interested.
Good luck!
Roy, I know you from the Y and Ugly Mugs and I was running on the track (above the gym) yesterday and noticed you busting your ass, sprinting like a crazy man in the circuit class. When I saw this I thought to myself, wholly crap, this guy is seriously improving his condition and getting very fit. The scale is a liar...it's a freaking number that gravity has assigned to you at that moment. It doesn't know anything about muscle mass, water weight or the general fitness of your body. Don't despair in this cruel arbitrary number, from the perspective of those watching you hammer away at the gym, you look like a machine!
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