Since last time we spoke, I started incorporating eating out again. We went to J. Alexander's to celebrate a friends success. Here is what I noticed about the experience:
The sounds:
I used to really love the party atmosphere. The clanking and the voices..the lighting. On this night, I found myself becoming annoyed with the noise. There were people laughing loudly and a kid clanking incessantly on a sugar dispenser. I could only think..."I wish it were quieter"
The soda:
An endless sea of carbonated goodness. The way it prickles when you drink it. Lovely! Except...I forgot how bloody full I feel when it settles. I also noticed that it generates a sort of "manic" state in regards to eating my food. I wanted to eat faster..I wanted to talk less..I wanted to check my e-mail...look around..I WANTED to isolate in a CROWDED room. It is hard for me to tell if all of it was related to the soda...but it did accelerate everything.
The Food:
I tried to be as healthy as I could. I got a Thai Kai salad, Baked Potato (everything on the side), Huge Broccoli Stalk. I figured if I load down on veggies I have a better chance of feeling satisfied. I know that if I ate a hamburger and french fries...there would not be enough volume. The food tasted great! I love the salad and the crunch of the Broccoli. Everything tasted wonderful.
Aftermath:
3:15 a.m. I have to get up to have a FOOD BABY. God I was so hung over! I didn't think I ate that much! But I ate more than I am currently eating at home. So, I am not used to it! Wow...it did NOT feel good. I had to choke down bfast...(the great stabilizer)
Overall:
The experience wasn't as wonderful as it once was. I felt like curling into a ball because I was overstimulated, over carbonated, and overfed. The worst part of it, is I overate at my Sunday night potluck...it was like eating out triggered the monster.
So, here I am regulating things and getting back into the swing of it. I have a new Bodybugg (bodybugg.com) and I plan on doing at least 2 workouts tomorrow (just because I have time)
I can feel myself slipping back into an old way. The way that has taken so much away from me. I don't want to have this happen. So, tomorrow, I will fight.
I have something that has been bothering me a bit that I will speak of the next time I write. But right now, I want to know how YOU are doing. Weight loss for some of us is a rewiring of our brains. It requires that we change every small decision we make. It is easy to slip back into the "way things were" because it's easier / more convenient/ draws less criticism/ the way things are done/ kids wont eat that way/ husband doesn't like seafood/ wife is afraid of change/
Believe me, they are all valid. Really. But if we step outside ourselves for just a second, we will see that the voice that explains away our opportunities for realization...is the same voice that makes our "comfort zones" smaller and smaller. This process can have us feeling like we are an island pretty quickly. Often, being overweight/addicted and being lonely go hand in hand...I think what I just described is a large part of why. So I challenge you to challenge your dialogue in the coming days...
You can't walk/cycle/go to the gym/run/swim. Prepare healthy food/know what you are eating/how many calories/drink enough water.
Really?
It is hard for me too. I get it. But I believe in you JUST like you believe in me.
Roy
So, here I am regulating things and getting back into the swing of it. I have a new Bodybugg (bodybugg.com) and I plan on doing at least 2 workouts tomorrow (just because I have time)
I can feel myself slipping back into an old way. The way that has taken so much away from me. I don't want to have this happen. So, tomorrow, I will fight.
I have something that has been bothering me a bit that I will speak of the next time I write. But right now, I want to know how YOU are doing. Weight loss for some of us is a rewiring of our brains. It requires that we change every small decision we make. It is easy to slip back into the "way things were" because it's easier / more convenient/ draws less criticism/ the way things are done/ kids wont eat that way/ husband doesn't like seafood/ wife is afraid of change/
Believe me, they are all valid. Really. But if we step outside ourselves for just a second, we will see that the voice that explains away our opportunities for realization...is the same voice that makes our "comfort zones" smaller and smaller. This process can have us feeling like we are an island pretty quickly. Often, being overweight/addicted and being lonely go hand in hand...I think what I just described is a large part of why. So I challenge you to challenge your dialogue in the coming days...
You can't walk/cycle/go to the gym/run/swim. Prepare healthy food/know what you are eating/how many calories/drink enough water.
Really?
It is hard for me too. I get it. But I believe in you JUST like you believe in me.
Roy
1 comment:
I want to start with how much I enjoy your blog. You speak as though you are in my head. I share your struggles with weight. Weight loss is scary, hard, sad, exciting, wonderful...it's so many things. I'm terrified every time I walk up to the scale. Excited when I've lost. Sad when I haven't. It's an emotional roller coaster. For me it has been a life long roller coaster and I have decided this is the year for me to stop the ride. I want to go check out the pool. And not be ashamed of how I look in a bathing suit.
Please don't stop writing...it's good for you and me and so many others!!
Post a Comment